Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
