So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Randomize
