His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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