Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
