I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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