i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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