But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize