thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
In America we eat man semen.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
