You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
