chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
