billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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