He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
