lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
