My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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