Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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