fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
