he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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