why didn't you poke me back
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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