Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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