whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
