we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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