Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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