I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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