she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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