forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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