Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
