D3 body, D1 cock
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
