i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
