What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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