I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
