I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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