dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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