Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
