I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
