I just threw up on my dentist
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
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