Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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