Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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