No awkward lesbian experiences without me
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
