The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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