me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
