He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
