Porn is love you can see.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
