the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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