i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
