she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
