I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
