when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i would punch a child for taco bell
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
