no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
