Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
