She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
