to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
