I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
