Its about making memories worth repressing
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
