6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
