Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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